Time's Up!
Just in case anyone cares, isnt Mung's new clock fabulous? (see side bar)
The time is set to GMT- Greenwich Mung Time and Mung's advice to the broken-hearted? Time is the best healer.
Bumming Around
Just in case anyone cares, Mung's buttocks are feeling better, having recovered from
yesterday's marathon weboggling session.
What a Bummer
Just in case anyone cares, Mung is unable to sit down as for the past 4 hours, Mung's buttocks have been causing her immense and unwelcomed pain.
Oh poor Mung! Whatever have you been doing for the past 4 hours that could've have jeopardised the comfortable cushioning effect your buttocks usually provide?!I've been sitting on my fat ass for 4 hours playing
weboggle! That's what I've been doing!!
Oh Mung, that really is a 'bummer' and I offer you my genuine sympathies. What are you going to do if you cant sit down?I'm gonna stay standing until my buttocks are back to normal! That's what I'm gonna do!!
Ho ho Mung, you silly little chipmunk! You do realise your pain is all self-inflicted! For the good of your buttocks and of yourself, you should really stop playing weboggle! What?! That's like telling a crack addict to stop taking crack! That's what it's like!!
Ho ho ho! Oh Mung you cheeky little lemon, you!
And Mungo Was Her Name-O!
Yay Mung!
There was a girl who had a blog,
And MUNGO was her name-o!
M-U-N-G-O!
M-U-N-G-O!
M-U-N-G-O!
And MUNGO was her name-o!
The Wheels On The Bus
Back to school
School season is beginning so Mung puts on her thinking cap on and starts to limber up her brain:
The wheels in Mung's head go ROUND and ROUND,
ROUND and ROUND,
ROUND and ROUND.
The wheels in Mung's head go ROUND and ROUND,
All day long.
Mung Po Tofu HOT and SPICY
Call the fire brigade!
For anyone who wants to say goodbye to regular bowel movements, Mung suggests them to try out the above hot sauces. Although a fervid advocate of No Pain No Gain, Mung makes an exception for this case, where the amount of Pain experienced is actually inversely proportional to the Gain achieved.
Those hot sauce bad boys burn the mouth like no-one's business. Mung hears that the best way to cool a burning mouth is the immediate consumption of dairy products, the fatter the better. Milk, sour cream, ice-cream are all good antidotes to a mouth on fire. But if fat content is the key to alleviating pain, Mung's prefers just to take a bite out of Jung's big fat juicy ass.
The Joke's On Mung
So Mung disappears for only a short while but her brief absence was long enough for Jung to make up some 'funny' Knock-Knock jokes of her own:
Jung- Hey Mung, Knock knock.
Mung- Who's there?
Jung- I eat map.
Mung- I eat map who?
Jung- Ha ha ha ha! You eat your poo!! Ha ha ha ha!
It's A Hard Knock Life
Mung tries out her favorite Knock Knock joke on Jung:
Mung- Knock knock.
Jung- (groan) Who's there?
Mung- Aaaaaah-cchhh.
Jung- Aaaaaah-cchhh who?
Mung- Oh, bless you.
Jung- Mung you are so stupid.
4th July- Red, White and Who?
The Force of July
Who is Uncle Sam? As a tribute to the Fourth of July, Mung uses her broadband access to find out the origin of this phrase and the story behind it.
The term 'Uncle' Sam', used commonly as a personification of the United States, originates from a man called Samuel Wilson, who worked as a meat packer in Troy, New York around 1812. The barrels of meat he would recieve were stamped with the initials 'U.S.' and he joked with his workmates that the 'U.S.' was a reference to him, 'Uncle Sam'. The joke (hilarious) caught on, one thing led to another and Bob- sorry, I mean- Sam's your uncle.
Drugs are Rubbish
Mung was about to chase some dragons but changed her mind when she walked past this skip:
Funnel Vision
Funnel cake, an American carnival snack made by pouring batter from a funnel into hot oil and deep-frying until golden brown. Commonly served with icing sugar and ice-cream.
In this duality of naughty but nice, Mung's heart defeated Mung's head so she granted herself the pleasure of devouring the calorie-abundant dessert. As Mung chomped and gobbled through the plate of the cake, she was disappointed to find that there was in fact, no 'light at the end of the funnel'.
Left was only an empty plate and a few pounds of funnel cake to digest.
No Mung Intended
So a few weeks ago Mung came across this Pun Contest in the local newspaper- 'Puns of Fun! Send in your best pun and win a prize!' Mung being the pun genius that she is, sent in ten of her best puns in hope to win but, (goodness knows why) no pun in ten did.
The Grass is Always Greener
Mellow Yellow.
Mung's humour is not the only thing that is dry in this town.
The attached photograph is of the yellow grass outside Mung's door. This is what happends when irresponsible residents forget (or can't be bothered) to water their lawn. But Mung, a rolling stone that gathers no moss, cares not for sprinklers or hoses. The cheapest way to get a-rid (arid! geddit?!) of this problem is to raindance and wait for the Heavens to respond.
Mung Minds Her Own Business (Class)
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Mung's jet fuel- steak with medley of root vegetables.
If Mung was held at knife-point, and HAD to chose a favorite Westlife song, she would take it like a man and say, 'Flying Without Wings', a nice tune about a not-so-nice subject, flying being Mung's least favorite mode of transport.
But some things have to be done and this time Mung is well classy and lives the 'high' life by flying out of London on BA Business Class. Since everything is relative, Mung will compare flying BA Business Class with flying Ryanair by listing the complimentary luxuries each travelling experience provides.
What you get on BA Business Class:
- Wide selection of video and audio entertainment,
- 3 course meal from an a la carte menu (Mung chose 'Fillet steak with medley of root vegetables'),
- A real pillow,
- Molton Brown toiletries,
- Allocated window seat,
- Little rum truffles (hic!)
- Scone (pronounced sc-oh-ne, cos Mung is well posh) with small jar of jam and small tub of clotted cream,
- Smiling cabin crew,
- Hot towel,
- Vomit bag.
What you get on Ryanair:
Double Trouble
Ha ha so funny.
(Mung you are so infantile)
