No Mung Intended
So a few weeks ago Mung came across this Pun Contest in the local newspaper- 'Puns of Fun! Send in your best pun and win a prize!' Mung being the pun genius that she is, sent in ten of her best puns in hope to win but, (goodness knows why) no pun in ten did.
The Grass is Always Greener
Mellow Yellow.
Mung's humour is not the only thing that is dry in this town.
The attached photograph is of the yellow grass outside Mung's door. This is what happends when irresponsible residents forget (or can't be bothered) to water their lawn. But Mung, a rolling stone that gathers no moss, cares not for sprinklers or hoses. The cheapest way to get a-rid (arid! geddit?!) of this problem is to raindance and wait for the Heavens to respond.
Mung Minds Her Own Business (Class)
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Mung's jet fuel- steak with medley of root vegetables.
If Mung was held at knife-point, and HAD to chose a favorite Westlife song, she would take it like a man and say, 'Flying Without Wings', a nice tune about a not-so-nice subject, flying being Mung's least favorite mode of transport.
But some things have to be done and this time Mung is well classy and lives the 'high' life by flying out of London on BA Business Class. Since everything is relative, Mung will compare flying BA Business Class with flying Ryanair by listing the complimentary luxuries each travelling experience provides.
What you get on BA Business Class:
- Wide selection of video and audio entertainment,
- 3 course meal from an a la carte menu (Mung chose 'Fillet steak with medley of root vegetables'),
- A real pillow,
- Molton Brown toiletries,
- Allocated window seat,
- Little rum truffles (hic!)
- Scone (pronounced sc-oh-ne, cos Mung is well posh) with small jar of jam and small tub of clotted cream,
- Smiling cabin crew,
- Hot towel,
- Vomit bag.
What you get on Ryanair:
Double Trouble
Ha ha so funny.
(Mung you are so infantile)
Mung in Cambridge
Mung partys al fresco
Mung voluntarily leaves zone 1 London and hops on a train to Cambridge to attend a Garden Party (free food).
Mung hangs around the BBQ area and stocks up on not only free meat, but also on local gossip by eavesdropping on fellow garden party-goers:
Young Posh Boy 1:
Did you hear about Rupert?Young Posh Boy 2: Rah, the old boy went punting naked!
Young Posh Boy 1: Rah! How extraodinary!
Another Posh Boy: What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
Posh Girl: Looking for a boy like you.
German Boy: Hallo, wie gehts? (Hello, how are you?)
Mung: er...gut danke. (er...good thanks)
German Boy: Also, mochst du ein wurst? (So, you want a sausage?)
Mung- er...nein danke. (er...no thanks)
Mung's Top Ten Most Hated
If only Mung was a lover and not a fighter. Here are Mung's Top Ten Most Hated:
- Church of Scientology Free Stress Tests- Mung don't need no free test to tell her she's stressed.
- Resonance FM- Listening to babies cry and dogs bark for 3 hours is not Mung's idea of fun.
- Bus no.390- Mung's buttocks they come every 10-15 mins.
- Counting Sheep- 3 bags full of wool later Mung is still wide awake.
- Skinny men- Damn you and your fast metabolism.
- Skinny women- For the love of God eat some food.
- Salty Liquorice- SO NASTY!!
- Bad People.
- Peptides.
- Constipation.
Mung's Got Sole
I've got soles but I'm not a soldier.
What a chore it is to wear uncomfortable shoes! Mung click click clicks around town in her 0.5inch heels with a little help from insoles and a walking stick.
